Aaron and I officially broke up today.
This came totally out of right field starting a week and a half ago. He found someone else. It hurts. Physically hurts. My stomach is turning and my head is pounding. I can't sleep and can't really eat. I just want to cry and cry.
I feel like my world is ending. I had a rock and a comfort for three years and now I have no one. No one to randomly text about pointless crap. No one to run to when I need to feel safe. No one that can just kiss me and make me feel better. No one that loves me. Not friendship love but actual love. It is killing me inside. I'm not even being dramatic
I now know how Katie felt when Vince dumped her out of right field and how Ross felt when Daniella dumped him.
I was happy. If you go back to my LJ account you can tell when I met Aaron. My posts became less depressing and more bitching about nothing. I was using it as an outlet for stress instead of talking about how depressed I was.
I really was happy. I don't know if I will ever be that happy again. People will try and tell me that things will get better and that everything happens for a reason. Right now, I don't give a damn. Hearing that makes me feel even worse about the situation. Please don't tell me that.
"I want to be with you. I'm sorry" from him could fix this. It would stop my pain. I just want that pain to go away.
Three years of my life. I feel like I've wasted three years of my life. I'm going to be in pain for months yet he is already to move onto someone else. How the hell is that fair? He just wants to push me out of his head. I guess I wasn't that important to him.
~You left a hole where my heart should be
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